Don’t let hearts plummet.

I'm truly blessed to be a human in this 21st century. Because we don't have to experience and experiment deeply to learn something. Light speed changes of our generation has given us the opportunity to find our eligible life partners in a swipe on a mobile phone.

Dating has become trite and finding someone to love has become medial. But I have a blood crushing question. Do we have fulfilled one of our grandiose inner desires and the deepest human hunger; to be loved?

Yes you may. But sometimes, may not. In the way I think, having a steady partner is something wonderful. It’s a blessing to have the better half even before 25. Why is that?

Because no generation has even been this much lunatic to fall into a trap called dating. Dating is a dead trap. You will tend to seek the unrealistic perfections from a non perfect human being. According to the urban dictionary, Dating is when a man/woman goes out with another individual or many different people to configure compatibility. Not having any clear commitment. It may be as short as a week or for many years. It is not a relationship.

I truly believe in "Try not. Do" concept. And some may ingrained in "Try. Don't do" conversation. And I know empirically trying only approach sucks. We should have to compromise whatever it takes to make things happen. Because everything requires and demands a potential. That's the raving truth.

We all dream for unconditional love, constantly compassionate partners, chivalrous boyfriends, loyal soulmates, bear hugs, french kisses, not being cheated. But is that what we get in the End? Exactly. Only if we sustain the pain of being hatred, being ignored, hardships of understanding, confronting the insecurities and pushing the limits of personal development. It takes time. It consumes energy. And the responsibility of caring each other and helping to become the best version of our partners. Indeed, it’s all about commitment. Life is not all about what we receive. Life builds upon what we give and share. The values we share with our partners become the root cause of the understanding. Its the seed of trust later imbue with the joy of life.

Dating is easy and something comes with out an effort for those who have good look, flamboyant personality and the money. But trace that bond. You’ll find emptiness.

Instead of dating, think about a true relationship; nothing comes without a hope. Even though the relationship is toxic, you put the effort to make it through. That effort sums up the value and the experience. Believe that whatever happens to you reveals something good about your life. No toxic relationship is inhibiting your journey of life. It’s just teaching you to see the world without lenses. And importantly teaches you to love the fate and turn it into something great.

Here is my take on how you can relish your relationships with better half without being wretched.

1) Amor Fati

Stoicism has a teaching called Amor Farti. It’s simply loving the fate. Whatever happens to you in your life cannot be changed. Just accept everything as it is. You can only change yourself. So instead of being worried about things you cannot change, try to embrace everything as it is. In relationships, Don’t expect anything from your partner. Just wow whatever happens in the relationship. Because you cannot change another human by forcing. You only can embrace your partner as who she is and love with your whole heart. You can only be incharge of you.

2) Don’t negotiate

Negotiation is a vampire when it comes to relationships. As I mentioned earlier, just accept your partner as he or she is now. And don’t expect him or her to change according to your prophecies. Just embrace what you see today of your partner. Not every human being is malleable and susceptible. You can only love. That’s all you can do. If your partner is the right fit, he or she would put an effort to be with you. But if not, don’t force your partner to be in the relationship

3) Spend more time not online.
Thousands of emotions cannot be sent via a text. Text is just some words that we have forcefully made it overrated. Admire the presence of your partner in front of you. A person’s effort to meet you shows how much of a value that person is giving to you. And remember, even strong feelings can be oblivious when the right person doesn’t take care of it.

4) No phones on the table when you are on a date.

You eyes witness your love more than a WiFi connection. Guys and girls, your attention is the best thing you can ever give to your partner. It’s totally underrated by teens today. Whenever I hang out, I see couples sit facing to each other but looking at their mobile phones. What kind of a date is that. Actually I doubt why that kind of relationships exist. Social media is a lie. The portrait you double tap is not real as it seems. But the face right in front of you is adorable, it’s real and it’s craving for your attention. So don’t make that mistake. Pay your attention to your loved ones. Lend your ears. Love the moment with your loved ones.

5) Do love.
Most humans have misconceived the term love as noun. Actually, love is not a noun. It's a verb. After months starting a relationship, people say I don't feel I love my partner anymore. What the heck is that? Remember love is not for the takers. It's something sacred only the true lovers know as something which have to be given. Lovely gestures lead to love. Not the feeling you title as love. It's all about doing things which makes you feel you love.

6) Be chivalrous

Chivalry is not dead. Specially if you are a guy, you should be attuned to the gestures which make your girl safe and cared. Some of chivalrous gesture are opening and holding doors, sit after the girl, stand before the girl, setting her inside the road when you are strolling.

Small strides into the correct direction is always soothing. Don’t take your partners for granted. Make a flat ground to share your life. Because you deserve only what you value.

May all your relationships get relished!!!!